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Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Message in a Bottle

I am a bad blogger.  I forgot about you, and I'm sorry.  I can't promise that I won't do it again because most of the promises I've had made to me have been broken.  That says little about me because those promises were not broken on my behalf; it just means that I know how transient promises and bonds can be.

If someone sees this one day, know that I'm a 24-year-old who still hasn't figured everything out yet.  They say that you don't know who you are until you lose yourself in someone.  I've done this twice now.  Now, I know who and what I am (my best friend has told me that if I am a fool a third time, she will punch me in the face.  You need friends like that).  I will not bend to someone else's image of me, and I will not walk on eggshells to avoid conflict with the people I date.  Instead of sweeping things under the rug and allowing offenses against me to pile up and drag me to a position of impotence in my relationships, I will address the problems head on.  I drown in my own thoughts and self-doubt as it is.  I don't need to get sucked into someone else's toxic whirlpool and go under completely (not again, anyway).

For once in my life, I know where I'm going.  For once in my life, I know what and who are not coming with me.

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